If you’ve read any of my other blog posts, you may have figured out that I am willing to share. I am willing to tell some truths about myself that may be hard for some people to hear. I wasn’t always like this though. For years, I held on to secrets. I held on to the secret that I was molested. I held on to the secret that I had been abused. I held on the secret that I did things as a teenager that my adult self is absolutely ashamed of. And holding on to those secrets was hard. It made me tired. It made me sick.
As I grew as a Christian, I learned that there were others out there who were just like me. They had a past. They had hurts. But they were using them to help others. When they shared their secrets, when they brought them into the light, they were getting better. They were becoming well. And they were helping others do the same.
God uses everything for good for those who love Him and are called according to His purpose. You’ll hear me say that a lot here at Joy with Jamie, because that is a verse that I cling to in my life. As I’ve said, my life hasn’t been a rose garden, but I know whatever happens in it can and will be used for good, the good of me or others or to bring glory to God in general. That means that even our deepest, darkest secrets can be used by Him for good.
I have noticed that the more I share my secrets, those choices and experiences that were not helpful but hurtful, the easier it becomes to do so. The shame and guilt associated with those secrets has lessened. They don’t have the power over me that they once did. When I brought them into the light, God took them and turned them into something He could use! He took those terrible, horrible, very bad things and turned them into a blessing of sorts.
Don’t get me wrong. I still have some dark secrets tucked away. I’m human. They stare at me in the dark and shame me. They mock me. They hurt me. They tell me, “You may have been able to tell some of what happened to you, but not this. Not now. Not ever.” But more and more often, when those thoughts come to mind, I don’t duck and run. I am looking those secrets in the eye. I tell them in the most threatening voice I can muster up in my mind, “You’re next.”
Finding Joy: What secrets are you holding on to that are making you sick? Are they stealing your joy? Are they stealing precious space in your mind, speaking death into you instead of life? Pick one, and share it with someone. You could share it with a stranger that you meet that mentions to you what they themselves have been through to show them they are not alone. You could tell a trusted friend that you feel safe with. What about a counselor? Your preacher or close member of your church? Each time you share, you are giving that demon in the dark another blow. And eventually, you will take them down. They won’t hurt you anymore.
Related Scripture:
Genesis 50:20 – You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.
Romans 8:28 – And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to His purpose.
John 16:33 – I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.
You have grown and changed so much. You used to be timid and lack self confidence, but your growth has made you so strong! I admire you so much! Those ‘bad’ things we’ve done or endured, honestly just make us wiser. I’m not one to open up (at all) but I definitely don’t dwell on the past or let those things define me. Love your openness, it has healed so much of you.
Thank you so much! Sometimes, I don’t even recognize myself. I think, “Why didn’t that make me upset?” or “How can I just forgive them like that?” or “How did I just share that and not be afraid or ashamed?” There is not other explanation than Christ has changed me. I didn’t realize how much other people noticed that too! You are so right about my self-confidence too. Where did I get the guts to create a website and write a blog! Christ. God gave me the strength. Thank you so much for your encouraging words.